Title: Don't Touch My Ass
Author: rukiblood
Reviewer: perfection_means_nothing
Note: The author/s should know that I have nothing against him or her. I apologize if you find my review quite harsh or mean. Please know that I have been honest the entire time and I am doing this to improve your writing skills. Thank you for requesting from Caramel Esque.
Title - 7/10 I have to say, you caught my attention in a sort of a strange way. That title is not original, since I have a friend who has a fan fiction about TVXQ with the same title. But I admire that it's not very common and eye catching. You got my highest score.
Appearance - 5/10 It matches the mood of the story, which impressed me. The only problem was the text was too simple. And you could have at least pressed the “Use in All Chapters” button so the poster was on every chapter. I really like the candy colored poster though, but it's messy when I first saw it.
Forewords - 6/10 I think you gave enough info there. No more, no less. Now that’s a Forewords! It's organized and the characters are only introduced in the poster. I like it. You didn't give that, “I’m doing this for fame!” feeling.
Plot - 17/20 Well done. A story that is not about drama for once. I’ve only been reading fan fictions for a year, and I am officially bored of romance stories and typical gay/girl x girl stories. Thank God fan fiction writers like you are still here. The characters are actually human for once. You got my highest score.
Originality - 19/25Not Déjà Vu, not “I read this a million times”. I will say this is a good story, but I won’t say it’s original. The appropriate word is “rare”. Like I said, my friend has the same title and she also has the same plot. It was a yaoi story about TVXQ. There were some cliché factors in the story like nerds, annoying bubbly girls and hammer heads. Also the bully-get-send-to-the-worst-place-you-can-imagine plot. But those didn't get in the way of the story.
Flow - 12/15It didn’t bore me to death while waiting for the real things to happen, nor did it shock me with its warp speed. Well done.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary - 19/25 I don’t point any mistakes, but there were some parts that got me confused. One is when Amber was touring the school, specifically in the library. It mattered just little to me, but don’t worry about that. It goes well with the flow, not too fast and not too slow. Not much typo there, and the character’s point of view makes sense (for once). You used punctuation marks in an OK way. You might want to improve your grammar just a little bit.
Characterization - 6/10Stick to the character, and that’s it. I can differentiate them, and they are human enough. Not original, but rare. But I must say you made reading f(x) fan fictions nice for once. They weren’t introduced neatly like how I wanted, but they matched the flow of the story.
Writing Style - 3/5I gave you my highest score because it was very neat. I like how you used capitalization, italic, bold and punctuation marks. Well done.
Overall enjoyment - 6/10I must say, that was very enjoyable and I expect more of your writings in the future. One thing I want to point out is using the poster on every chapter so you won’t bore me a little. I really loved the poster. Keep writing fan fictions with “rare” plots.
Total score - 100/140 Bravo. You are close to my highest score. I enjoyed reading this fan fiction, and I’ll come back to read it often.
Reminder to the author/s - I have a copy of the original review, so don’t dare change it! I’m always checking the fan fictions I review. Why are you still hanging around there? Check out Caramel Esque right now! http://caramelesquee.tk/
