Author: ReaReaUmbi
Story: Scribing Pleasures
URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/33030/scribing-pleasures-smut-superjunior
Reviewer: Cerebral

Title/Forward: 3/10
Rather plain title that didn’t drag me in.
The description gave off the feeling ‘tried too hard’ but however doesn’t really make sense in the story. Except the one sentence at the end, otherwise the paragraph before that is a big pile of nothing.

Plot/Flow/Feel/Originality: 5/30
Since this isn’t your own idea, sure the plot is yours but the idea isn’t yours, I’ll have to subtract points for that simple thing. I was only told once there are more versions of a story, it’s a sellout.

Why do people ALWAYS shove Shindong out of the story, is it because his image isn’t good enough? What if Donghae was married, nobody would care. He’d still be in the stories clear as day, I’m sure.

I have not read Alphabet Sex so I can’t know how much you flipped up this story but it seems to be entirely smut. You can ALWAYS add a good, substantial plot to a smutty story. Since females aren’t capable of differentiating sex and love, in which they’re a VERY THIN LINE apart.

I’ll give you credit for doing what seemed like so so much research but…

A smut story is a smut story, it will not have plot. Therefore, it’s quite hard to review a smut story on plot when I can only really do grade so on imagery.

And always the chick always has to have curves…

Imagery/Writing Style: 17/20
I can see the massive amounts of imagery but I can’t FEEL it. Whether it may be the fact that it drags out so long or you --

I know appealing to the five senses make the story ‘better.’ But that’s not always the case. I could read a terribly done smutty story and actually not drone out while reading it. I don’t know, may be just me and my icanonlyreadyaoirightnow mood.

Characterization: 2/15
Her personality disgusted me. How can she be so nonchalant about sex and things-like that? I know you also put variations in the guy’s personality but they all look like the same guy with a different name.

Grammar/Format: 10/10
I can see so much effort, is there really much needed to be said here?

Ending: 00/10

37/90= 41 pct

And because I feel like I don’t completely understand how to review. I’ll just tell you I’m an amateur here :x

Now you probably got a low score from me (everyone does) so I hope you understand that some stories get 80 percent and there are stories that are 2x better than those stories. In other words that would make those stories 160 percent. And even the greatest authors are in the 90 percentile range. So I’m sorry if you came here expecting a good percentage but reviews are supposed to help you gain knowledge of how to improve your stories. (I get upset writers so I want to explain to them here to prevent upset moods.)

Title: /5

Appearance/Poster/BG: /10

Description/Foreword: /5

Storyline: /15

Characterization: /15

Story Flow: /10

Creativity/Originality: /15

Vocabulary/Grammar: /15

Overall Enjoyment: /10

Total: -/100

Bonus: /5

Title: /5
The title is there to mark if it catches the readers attention and to see if it has the connection to the story.

Poster/Background: /10
The poster/background is there to mark if it matches to the mood/genre of the story and if the poster is also showing how the character is in the story.

Description/Foreword: /10
The description/foreword is there to mark if it's clear (neat) and well understandable and if it actually links to the story, to see if it's interesring for the readers to continue reading the story.

Plot: /15
The plot is there to mark if it is interesting, to see if goes with the description/foreword that you wrote about the story.

Creativity/Originality: /15
Creativity/Originality is there to mark if its your own story, just saying this shortly by if its really the original work or not? If its just normally read in some other stories. Just marking on those.

Flow: /10
Flow is there to mark if its just in the right pace not just rushing, skipping the story too much and ifall the characters come out in the story or not.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: /10
This is there to mark if there's any spelling mistakes, if they used the past tense or present tense correctly and yeah if the puncuation and grammar is correct or not.

Characterisation: /10
Characterisation is there to mark if you have the right information/personality and if its also well described. About the characters in the story as in for example: "Junyoung (18) handsome, caring, he is a friemd of ___ and later falls in love with her." then in the story somewhere there has to be a 'link' of that character falling in love with the girl if not? then i'll ask you why you chose the character like that and wrote it completely different.

Writing Style: /10
Writing style is there to mark if its clear and neatly written that I can understand the story and the colour/fonts you use everytime.

Overall Enjoyment: /5
Everyone should know this, its just a mark if I really enjoyed this story or not, like was it boring, fun, sad etc.

Extra: /5
This is just the mark for extra things for me about what else did I like about in this story that I didn't mention yet.

Total: /105

Title: -/5
Does the title look interesting enough for me to explore further into the story? Does it reveal too much of the upcoming plot? Too little? Does it relate to the story? Is it original? The title establishes the story's first impression - the more eye-catching, the better.

If the story is chaptered: Comments of chapter titles go here, but it does not affect your score.

Foreword and Description (Character chart/descriptions go here): -/10
Again, does it reveal too much or too little? Are there teasers or a prologue that sparks my interest? Does it create a basis for the characters, setting, or plot? Is it short and sweet, or does it go off with no clear purpose?

Originality: -/5
I don't consider this so important because an overused storyline can still be a great read. It isn't easy, however; descriptions must be vivid and full of detail, no typos/mistakes that throw off the tone, unexpected twists here and there, great characterization, etc. The same thing goes with brilliant plots that are ruined by the poor sense of writing. The points here are usually determined by the next factors.

Characterization: -/15
Are the characters believable? Can the readers relate to their experiences or feelings? Have you showed changes in their personality, for better or for worse? Are the characters distinct and memorable? Do the readers develop a certain feeling aimed to a particular character?

(Challenge: If you are an expert at this category, I should be able to recognize a character without the use of his/her name in the majority of the chapter. Bonus points here if you do!)

Writing Style: -/20
Is the font excessively colored/highlighted so it becomes hard to read? Do you use emoticons, text symbols, or texting language (i.e. can, u, ReAd, iT. lyk, dis)? Do you stress words too much with the use of bold font, italics, or capital letters? Is the use of sarcasm properly formatted, and does it work sufficiently when I read it? Does the tone of your writing reflect the genre of the story? Do you use 1st, 2nd, 3rd person point of view? Do you develop a clear image with descriptions and diction?

If you use POV's: Do you keep your POV's consistent to one or a few characters? Does the writing style have something that is "unique" to the character?

The writing style establishes the tone of the story – therefore, it’s really important. For example, take a look at these two stories with the same plot but different writing styles.

1. The frog jumped onto the log and croaked. After that, he went to sleep.
2. The frog leaped over 100 feet above the air, landing daintily on the worn-out log. Feeling the warm moss under its feet, it warms up by taking in a cool gust of air. He belched out a loud croak, eventually scaring all of the other animals in the pond. Satisfied, he went back to his home and slept soundly the whole night.

Now, which one would you rather read?

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: -/15
Do you use capitalization, grammar, and punctuation correctly? Are you able to maintain the use of tenses (past, present, and future)? Can you spell words properly? Is the vocabulary suited for the readers? (As a warning, I should mention that I have a sharp eye for spelling and grammar. Remember to proofread!)

Spelling and grammar also establishes tone – wrong spelling can ruin a sentence, or worse, it can ruin the climax of the event. You don’t want to let that happen!

Plot: -/25
Is the plot believable? If it is a fantasy, does it have an aspect of reality or is it based on realistic situations? Is it predictable, or too cliché? If it is based on another work, do you have twists that are original to you as an author? Does it seem developed and well thought-out? Do you use too much filler chapters or events?

Story Flow: -/5
Are you able to use transitions? Does the story skip to scenes to the point where I can’t keep up? Is it clear-cut and understandable?

Total: -/100

Additional comments and the occasional pep talk go here.

Title:: A Big Spoon of Doubt
Author: dubujoo
Reviewer: thousandloveletters

---

Title: 3.5/5
The title made me curious and led me to the story, and I'm pretty sure that the title would've grabbed my attention and I would've definitely clicked on the story link. However, I feel that it should be "A Big Spoonful of Doubt" instead of just "A Big Spoon of Doubt".

Description/Foreword: ()/10
Since there wasn't any description/foreword, I'm not going to mark this.

Graphic/Poster: ()/5
I won't be marking this since there wasn't any poster either.

Plot: 15/15
You know what? I LOVED YOUR PLOT. It was original and most of all, it isn't cliche! I really don't like (hate is a strong word, so i'm not going to use it here, heh :D) reading stories with cliche plots.

Flow: 3/5
It definitely didn't go too fast, but the one mark lost was because it was a little too slow for me. This is just a personal preference though, since I'm the kind who doesn't like stories which go too fast/too slow, so don't take this to heart!

Vocab/Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: 13.5/15
Pure awesomeness! But the only flaw among all the awesomeness is, just like the title, i think that the few times you used "big spoon of doubt(s)" in the story should be "big spoonful of doubt(s)".

Ending: 15/15
The ending definitely didn't feel rushed, and it left me a very deep (and good) impression! :)

Format: 10/10
I loved the way you wrote the story - it was just wow, period.

Writing Style: 20/20
You know some authors love to use different and bright colours? I hate reading that kind of stories. They spoil my eyes, but yours was just perfect. I had no difficulty reading the story at all. :)

Total: 80/85 (some marks were deducted off the total as there were some sections unmarked)


80-100 marks - So awesome I can't describe it! You should totally go write a book! :D

Hello and welcome to Caramelesque's reviews blog! This is where all reviews done by the reviewers will be posted.

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-- Kim

Author:

Story:

URL:

Reviewer: Cerebral

Title/Forward: 00/10
→ Interest
→ Hooker

Plot/Flow/Feel/Originality: 00/30
→ How much Cliche
→ Do plot pieces connect?
→ How realistic?

Imagery/Writing Style: 00/20
→ 5 senses, hearing, touch, smell, taste, sight

Grammar/Format: 00/10
→ Readable?

Ending: 00/10
→ Did you end at the right time?
→ Ending is still in beta so subject to change :x

00/85= pct

Now you probably got a low score from me (everyone does) so I hope you understand that some stories get 80 percent and there are stories that are 2x better than those stories. In other words that would make those stories 160 percent. And even the greatest authors are in the 90 percentile range. So I’m sorry if you came here expecting a good percentage but reviews are supposed to help you gain knowledge of how to improve your stories. (I get upset writers so I want to explain to them here to prevent upset moods.)

Title: 5
Basically i'm looking for creativity and originality in your titles, whether or not it can relate to the story, can it attract the reader (this one is pretty important) and yep that's about all. ^^

Description/Foreword: 10
Your description should enthral the readers and fascinate them with the details in your story. A powerful description is an addictive one which will lock the readers' attention.

Character introduction will also count in this part!

Graphic/Poster: 5
Basically.. Just whether or not your poster fits the story's genre, and if it's eye-catching. If I totally fell in love with the poster, then full marks for you! :D

Plot: 15
For this, I'll judge on whether or not your plot is cliche, the development of the story, characterization and stuff like that. :D

Flow: 5
This will be judged based on the speed and process of the story (is it too fast or too slow?), did it make sense?

Vocab/Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: 15
Just by looking at the title, you can tell what this is gonna be about. :D (i can understand if english isn't your first language though).

Ending: 15
Your ending should wrap up the story and leave the reader feeling satisfied. It should also make a deep impression and not feel rushed.

Format: /10
This actually depends on the way you write your story - did it make me want to sleep? or did it make me feel very excited?

Writing Style: 20
Basically just how you wrote the story, did you use so much bright font colours it hurt my eyes? or was it the opposite way?

Total: 100

80-100 marks - So awesome I can't describe it! You should totally go write a book! :D
60-79 marks - Your story rocks too so keep it up!
40-59 - There's room for improvement, but don't be disheartened! You'll soon make it into the 60-79 range.
20-49 - Lots of room for improvement, so hwaiting!
0-29 - You really need to work hard, but don't give up!

Title /10
- This one's simple and straightforward, if your title is good then you get a good mark. The relevance to the story is important as well and how much it is able to draw in readers. Is it appealing, is it nice sounding, is it too long, not long enough etc.

Poster and/or Graphics /5
- This is only marked if you have a poster and/or other graphics to accompany your story. If it looks pretty, if the feel of the poster matches your story, if the appropriate characters are being shown etc.

Description/Forward /5
- I don't mark this too hard because it's only a small portion and it's not exactly the start of the story. However, a handful of readers rely on both description and/or forwards to pique their interest in the fanfic. If you don't have a forward but you have a description, you will only get half marks, same thing vice versa. If you don't have either, this will not be marked.

Storyline /20
- The way I grade this is based on how cliche your plot is, how much goes on within the plot. Do you have side plots? Are you straying too much from your main plot? Did you add lots of twists?

Characterization /15
- The way a character develops is essential in a story as the reader can see how the character's respond to the events happening to them. I mark this by how well your main characters are developed, or do they stay the same. For example, if your character was originally always bubbly, happy, and carefree, then say a few sad events happened to them, some tragic, then how would they react? Does he/she change for the better? For the worse? Or does he/she stay the same despite it all? What's his/her point of view?

Story flow /10
- Now, I do like fillers and I do use those sometimes, but excessively using fillers can tend to stray from the plot and also drag your story down. In this portion, I will tell you if your story's going too fast, too slow, or just right. If the relationship developments are ideal or unreal, if your story's progression is doing well and if your plot is moving well.

Vocabulary and Grammar /10
- I understand that we all make mistakes or English isn't our first language, but then it only means one should consider editing and/or re-editing their work. Grammar mistakes are common in fanfics (and I am guilty of it myself), but it is always good to have someone read over your work for you. I wouldn't call myself a grammar nazi, but I do come down a little hard on grammar errors. In terms of vocabulary, I'll be looking out for your span of vocabulary words, if you should expand a little more, use a thesaurus etc.

Creativity and Originality /15
- Similar criteria to the story plot in terms of whether or not there are too many cliche's in your plot. This is mainly made for that.

Overall Enjoyment /10
- This is when my wonderful opinion comes in. As a reader of the fanfic, I will judge on whether or not I myself enjoyed the story or if I believe others will enjoy the story as well.

Total /100

I try not to sugar coat my words because I believe in being straightforward. However, I do know the difference between being constructive and being mean. If you feel I'm being mean, just say so, but other than that I'll just tell it like it is.

Please read the Review Request rules HERE

This is Caramelesque's Reviews Blog, where all reviews will be posted.

Kim
Cerebral
thousandloveletters
perfection_means_nothing
fourevermuzik
SSZE_A501
Aznchika


1. Request a review HERE first.
2. After your request has been completed and you have been contacted, please leave a comment in the tagboard.
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A Big Spoon of Doubt by dubujoo (thousandloveletters)


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