Author: ReaReaUmbi
Story: Scribing Pleasures
URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/33030/scribing-pleasures-smut-superjunior
Reviewer: Cerebral
Title/Forward: 3/10Rather plain title that didn’t drag me in.
The description gave off the feeling ‘tried too hard’ but however doesn’t really make sense in the story. Except the one sentence at the end, otherwise the paragraph before that is a big pile of nothing.
Plot/Flow/Feel/Originality: 5/30Since this isn’t your own idea, sure the plot is yours but the idea isn’t yours, I’ll have to subtract points for that simple thing. I was only told once there are more versions of a story, it’s a sellout.
Why do people ALWAYS shove Shindong out of the story, is it because his image isn’t good enough? What if Donghae was married, nobody would care. He’d still be in the stories clear as day, I’m sure.
I have not read Alphabet Sex so I can’t know how much you flipped up this story but it seems to be entirely smut. You can ALWAYS add a good, substantial plot to a smutty story. Since females aren’t capable of differentiating sex and love, in which they’re a VERY THIN LINE apart.
I’ll give you credit for doing what seemed like so so much research but…
A smut story is a smut story, it will not have plot. Therefore, it’s quite hard to review a smut story on plot when I can only really do grade so on imagery.
And always the chick always has to have curves…
Imagery/Writing Style: 17/20I can see the massive amounts of imagery but I can’t FEEL it. Whether it may be the fact that it drags out so long or you --
I know appealing to the five senses make the story ‘better.’ But that’s not always the case. I could read a terribly done smutty story and actually not drone out while reading it. I don’t know, may be just me and my icanonlyreadyaoirightnow mood.
Characterization: 2/15Her personality disgusted me. How can she be so nonchalant about sex and things-like that? I know you also put variations in the guy’s personality but they all look like the same guy with a different name.
Grammar/Format: 10/10I can see so much effort, is there really much needed to be said here?
Ending: 00/1037/90= 41 pctAnd because I feel like I don’t completely understand how to review. I’ll just tell you I’m an amateur here :x
Now you probably got a low score from me (everyone does) so I hope you understand that some stories get 80 percent and there are stories that are 2x better than those stories. In other words that would make those stories 160 percent. And even the greatest authors are in the 90 percentile range. So I’m sorry if you came here expecting a good percentage but reviews are supposed to help you gain knowledge of how to improve your stories. (I get upset writers so I want to explain to them here to prevent upset moods.)
